Monday, January 5, 2009

Two months to go

Today is January 5, 2009.

In two months I will be in San Diego and will be taking my trusty red Trek to the ocean where we will ceremoniously dip our rear tires into the water. Two months from tomorrow we will get on the bikes and pedal off, away from the sunset off to the east coast, only 58 days and 3100 miles away.

I've had a low couple of weeks. For one thing, it has been cold here (it IS winter) and for another thing, my schedule has gotten kind of messed up with the Christmas holidays. I'd been going to a spin class on Mondays and Wednesdays, but both Christmas eve and New Year's eve were on a Wednesday this year, so that meant I was down to one class a week. Then I went to my sister's home for Christmas and ended up getting sick - a letdown from the pace? I did get outside on my bike yesterday and am on my way, this afternoon, to a spin class. See if I can get back on track.

There continues to be a hovering, lingering aura of concern around me these days. It's a worrisome thing to own a business and have a lot of employees and not be sure what the economy is going to do. I guess it is probably safe to say that I NEVER have known what directions things are going to take, but I guess it is also safe to say that I have been paying more attention lately, and have gotten myself into a bit of a twist.

Howard, the pastor at my oddball church, Jubilee! (a derivative of Matthew Fox's "Creation Spirituality") says to turn off the tv, ignore the newspapers, and carry on, paying attention to things that are real, stable, and comforting. Like the dance of Venus and the Moon this week. The two of them came closer and closer in the early night sky, dazzling me, and everyone else who happened to look. I've been wondering about all of this - about how to stay perky when things get scary. Time, perhaps, to turn to Pema Chodron and "The Places that Scare You."

And then there is this bike ride which seems very daunting. I think about people who do MAJOR adventures, like major first ascents or first descents or first anythings. Many people have done this ride that I am getting ready to do. Many. I even know someone who has done this very ride. I AM doing what I need to do to get ready, as much as I can given the restrictions that exist: work, time, health. And some of the daunting things for me are NOT particularly hazardous or daunting to another person (maybe.) Like I am concerned about how my business is going to do. And how my dog and cat are going to do. And I'm concerned about money. And yes, about my body and my plain old ability to do this ride. I have a lot of "gee I really don't KNOW if I can actually do this thing."

Which is guess might be the reason to push on and try to do it, regardless of the daunting aspects of it all. The only thing I rally can do is go to my class this afternoon and then go to the thing I've planned to do tomorrow and then go to the next thing and then the next and then the next. And then, after not too long, it'll be time for me to pack and go to San Diego and then, well, we'll just see how it all goes.

Okay. That's all.

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