Thursday, May 7, 2009
This journey into my home is a tricky one. I have thought about this and have spoken about it with some of you. I've started to write about it, about returning. This seems to be a universal challenge. Okay, maybe "universal" is a bit too lofty, but it certainly is becoming clear to me that I am NOT the only one who has struggled with coming home.
Just the fact that this has its own name, reentry, should make me know that something challenging is going to happen. I'm back. I don't want to be. Now what?
Today I felt a little bit better. I'm trying. I am also, I'm sure, trying the patience of some people.
"How are you?" they ask.
"Fine," I say, "well, sort of."
Or, if I'm telling the truth, "Awful. I miss the routine, the ease, the people, the structure."
Really, though, that is more than I usually let out. They've all been here. What right do I have to wish for more of what I no longer have?
So today I went home and took a look inside my beehives and did some equipment tweaking. The bees are set now, ready for the first "honey flow," the time when the flowers are in bloom and they are in full production for honey. It's about ready to happen and I am now ready.
Then I thought about my friend Annie, who suggests naming the five best things of the day. Here goes:
1. I'm alive and healthy.
2. It was a beautiful day here.
3. My sister is glad I'm here. So are some friends.
4. I have Annie in my life and that is a fine thing.
5. I took Tye for a walk and she was very happy to be out with me. She even got to lie down in the lake - her favorite thing.
5 things a day is a good thing to strive for.
And I'm grateful for this outlet too. Some of you say I'll figure it out better if I write about it. Okay - here it is.